Listen here, round-eyes...

This post title? Another quote from the venerable Professor Dinh. He was addressing a classmate of mine from Southern California in a conversation about racial socioeconomic barriers. What do you think? Should she make it her official nickname?

I know, readers. I know. I know I just began this post without addressing the serious hurt and abandonment complexes I've left you with in tarrying for so long with updates. Truly, I've been surprised that enough people are invested enough to verbally lambast me. Some of my favorite hate mail/texts include the following:
"You were the one thing I could trust, Kayla. The one thing."
"Every week that passed I thought, 'Surely she'll update this time? Surely she'll change...' But no. Always the same entry, mocking me with your commentary about how you could sue someone. Well I should sue you for emotional trauma."
"I have become addicted. As this is your fault, it now falls to you to feed my addiction."
And, my personal favorite: "Your blog sucked anyway. I'm glad you were too busy to update it."

I'm sorry, friends...I'm sorry. Unless you hated my updates, in which case, you're welcome. But really- I won't make excuses. I've been remiss. I've been irresponsible. I've been a deadbeat. And I won't tell you that I'll never do it again, because that would fall right into the next step of the cycle of abuse laid out by so many psychologists. I can only give you more of what I haven't given you for a month and...wish you...Happy...Thanksgiving?

Our first hearth-side Thanksgiving tale centers around this woman: Sophia Simpson, my lovely stepmom. She looks pleasant enough, doesn't she? Well...not when you mess with her mother. Then she sheds her Clark Kent common identity and becomes Sophia "Spitfire" Simpson.

The place was Vietnam. The year: 1967. Or 66. Sophia's father was attempting to fund a business venture, so he had been carefully courting a set of investors for quite some time. One night, he invited them to his house for a night of wining and dining. All was going well. After some time, one of the poor fools got comfortable around the Mai family- his first mistake: an innocently relaxed filter. As they were talking, the banker mocked Mrs. Mai's height. Exit Sophia. Enter Spitfire. She saw red, clenched her fists, marched into another room, got a stool, put it down in front of him (he helped her adjust it so it was very close to him), climbed up on it, and punched him in the face.

Yesssss!! That's what I said.

Her mom forcefully removed her from the room, and said:
"Why did you do that?"
"I had to get the stool. I was too short to reach his face."
"Uh, NO. You should not have attacked the guest!!!"
"He called you shorty, mom."
She was grounded for the unforeseeable future, but I'm sure glad it happened. Stories like that have to be told, and to be told, they have to happen.

Next: so, my cousin Stephen (age 20) is a world-class jump-roper. I'm not kidding. No, really. And it's not the jump-roping that you make fun of, either. He trains almost every day, has qualified for nationals 11 times, competed in world tournaments in Toronto, South Africa, and London. He does things with a jump rope that few people can do without one. He made a believer out of me, and I make fun of EVERYTHING. Here he is, just a visual-

Who knew, right? The competitive world of jump-roping, the participants of which bring shame to their mockers. I give you this background because it's crucial for you to understand this next heartwarming Thanksgiving story. I walk in to Grandma's house in Texas, hug many, many people (I have a magnificently large extended family), and eventually come around to my cousin Stephen. We talk for awhile, joke around about nonsense, and then he tells me that he's spent the last week on a maiden-voyage cruise ship. With Adam Sandler, Katie Holmes, and the entire crew of Adam's next movie. As a stunt double for Adam. For a DOUBLE DUTCH ROUTINE. Yes. Doesn't that sound like something I just made up to mess with you? I didn't, though, and you will all know that if and when you see this flick. Here's a little enticement for you to go: Adam is playing twins...of different genders. Hijinks will ensue. Here he is as a woman, with Tom Cruise's woman.

So where do we go from here? I'm not sure. I have much to write about in the black hole month that has claimed my attention: friends have gotten engaged (yeahhhh Josh!), studied, Dinh took some of us out for drinks at a bar across the street from the law school, studied, marched against modern slavery, I was Tom Cruise's (man, did he get two mentions on one blog post? Weird...) character from Risky Business for Halloween, I turned 24, went to a DC United soccer game, studied, went to Austin, turned in a memo (read: complex legal analysis that serves as a final for one of my classes) saw Citizen Cope, jumped in big piles of leaves...it's been a wild ride. I recommend it, honestly. I'll close the only way I know how: with an open letter to mosquitos, and a barrage of pictures. Happy Thanksgiving...! :)


Dear mosquitos,
I hate to tell you this, but no one likes you. Serving as a food source for bats and some random aquatic creatures is, honestly, a really lame ecological purpose for existence. None of that should permit your blood thievery. If the United States government cannot sample my DNA without just cause or permission, I don't see why you should have the privilege. The only redeeming possibility for your itchy little lives is if you were to somehow have collected dinosaur DNA for really awesome, not at all dangerous cloning purposes.

Stopping Modern Slavery.

Cheering for DC United (I'll tell you a secret- Meghan and I don't care about DC United).

Joshua Dillon as an angel. Me a Risky Bidness.

Jus' laughin with Dinh...

When Sarah was here.......:)

Andrea lovin' some hot chocolate during a study time.

 

 

Hey Wade, could you awesomely hover over the leaf pile? Cool, yeah, that's exactly what I was asking for.

Sweet, Cindy. Sweet.

Andrea, Cindy, and Kayla, doing what everyone should do in the fall...

Watching the sunset over the pool in front of the Capitol..

Yay! Citizen Cope up on stage, with only a guitar to keep him company. Rad old music hall venue. Competely wonderful.

I am grateful, Jesus. Thank You for showing ways that You know my heart.

Civil Procedure pays off again

Today I realized that if I wanted to, I could sue someone. Yep. That's right, general public. Watch out. I might not win, but by Jove, I could sue someone. In the interest of full disclosure, I'm 100% on trial case victories - just ask the two Austin, Precinct #2 attorneys who went up against me in the courtroom for allegedly running a red light that a hapless motorcycle cop was SURE I had run. Kayla - 1. Deputy - 0.

I should take this moment to say that I'm sorry I haven't posted in two weeks. I had two midterms, memo action, and more Civil Procedure hypotheticals in a night than we've had all year. I thought it'd be alright, but I actually got crap from people for my interweb silence...which is some pretty positive crap-getting, really, because it means someone reads this! Not that I wouldn't write it anyway...let's be honest.

Instead of writing a massive entry mini-series about what I've been doing for weeks, I decided to give you something much better: highlights, in PICTURES! Yeah! You get the visuals, and I get to read more about the Constitution tonight. Everyone wins, and I'm all about everyone winning.

It was Autumn's birthday a few weeks ago...where else would the cool kids go but Busboys and Poets?
The bday girl and Cindy, her roomie.

Danny, looking like the burdened artist he is. By the way, he brings that guitar everywhere. Even to clubs. Even to other concerts. This is why he is on my top 5 DC buddies list.

Andrea, with her patented, "I'm unintentionally adorable" pose.

Going with some buddies from a nonprofit I'm working with to Curbside Cookout 2010  - a huge parking lot full of all the the best food trucks in the greater DC area. I had Mumbai Butter Chicken...they had me at the first few words of their description: A tantric fusion of [does it really matter after "tantric fusion?"]...

We the Pizza!

The zoo. The National Zoo. Also, the unthinkable happened...I was en route via a cab, we bonded as we talked about his home country of Ethiopia, and he didn't let me pay. Yes, Blogger. You read that correctly. Anyway, here we are with an eagle statue.

Zoo quote of the day was by Autumn, as we were talking about if it was creepy to take pictures of other people's kids as they were doing unbelievably cute things: "I look like a foreigner. I do whatever I want."

On one of my neighbors' fences: I love these signs. I love them individually, but together they're unstoppable. My favorite is the "Slow Children" sign...it has no punctuation. A simple comma would change the meaning, but as it stands it is advising people across the nation to be careful- there are sluggish children in very close proximity...who may... run in front of your car in slow-motion.

A delicious spontaneous Monday night dinner, prepared by the ladies of 603. Yes, that's a candle in the middle of the table. Yes, they are holding up individual placecards with our pictures on them. Thank you, Cindy, for making sure mine wasn't left out of the picture.

And now, by popular demand, our feature exhibit: the dog of the house. He came with the roommates, and he came to win the hearts of every Georgetown law student this side of the Potomac. Among his achievements are Autumn, who had never pet a dog before due to her deep fear of them, Iris, who would give up her own meal for him if he so much looked through his little shaggy eyes at her, and Cindy, who goes up to her room when we're studying outside to get him one of her sweatshirts. I call it, "Hebrew: A Dog with A Lot of Feelings."

Hebrew, Swimsuit Edition

Tortured Soul Hebrew

Backstreet Boy Hair Hebrew

Hebrew, helping me study as only he can

And, of course, Wade trying to fit Hebrew into his kangaroo pocket and Hebrew not understanding why such a thing would ever happen to him...and yet doing nothing, as is his custom.

Phew. How was that? Thanks for tuning in...I should be a more faithful blogger for the next few weeks.

Craigslist and the Conch Republic

Let me share a thought with you, America. If you're going to go to Georgetown Law and pay an exorbitant amount of money to be educated by people smarter than you are, you might consider paying attention to them.  One activity that might not be considered wise is responding to personal ads on Craigslist. For 95% of the class. Additionally, the fact that you sit on the front row so that everyone else can see you Facebook-stalking the girls you're "engaging" to make sure they measure up...well, perhaps I should be mad that I have to fight the distraction, but it makes it so much funnier that I'm not sure I can be. It seems I should probably actually thank you, sir.

While we're on this topic- Craigslist? Really? Does anyone actually use Craigslist for real relationsh-...oh. I get it now. I know what you're all about, First Row Guy. A wag of the finger to you, Stephen Colbert style (anybody else excited about the rally, by the way??).

I have been looking for a church to call home ever since I moved to DC, about 2 months ago (really?? Wow). Readers- the Great Church Search of DC may be coming to a close...or at least a long sabbatical. If I'm not mistaken, I think Grace DC may very well be where I hang my hat and roll up my sleeves. :)  I love their Gospel preaching and their interest in community, both internally and externally. My thanks to and for the rest of Team Church Search...really, though, it's great to be able to process through that with other people, isn't it? I'm grateful to have had a community as I looked for community, haha.

Highlights from the weekend:
-Trying an actually delicious vegan, gluten-free cupcake/cookie! Sticky Fingers, well done.
-Dinner party with friends. :)
-A late Saturday night full of both rich and nonsense conversation, then a slowwww Sunday morning start, complete with French toast and peanut butter. So excited to have found others who love peanut butter on breakfast foods on which one also puts syrup. I was beginning to think that Grandpa Simpson and I were alone on that one.
-Surprising Cindy with a late night birthday picnic at the Lincoln Memorial, amongst other activities:

We had almost given up on catching a taxi at this point. Wade thought hitchhiking would be a neat addition to the evening. Seeing as Wade is always right about everything, we were ready to listen to him.

Speaking of things Wade is right about, he told me something astounding that forced me to call him a liar...until I googled it. Did you know the Florida Keys seceded? In 1982? Yep. Seriously. The Conch Republic. They have passports. Congress even kind of recognized them as having dual citizenship, and I'm convinced that a big part of the reason why is that most of Congress thinks they're joking. My two favorite things about this situation:
1. America might get a day to celebrate independence from the Motherland, but the Conch Republic takes A WEEK, EVERY YEAR to celebrate their...what, exactly? I think "independence" is an amusing way to put it. We'll just go with that.
2. Their slogan: "We seceded where others failed." Yes. I'm not kidding. I am not funny enough to make that up.

I'm making t-shirts. Who's in?

In other news, we've got the makings of a Georgetown Law Beer and Bible...yessss! I've been throwing out the concept to a few people repeatedly over the past couple of weeks, and I've got two very solid compatriots. I'm really excited! All are welcome, and as we figure a few things out, I'm going to spread the word: a little beer, a little Bible, and people from all faiths/viewpoints to hash over it with one another. It's going to be a fun, interesting experience in this academic environment, but it's still fundamentally the same thing every time, isn't it? As my best friend says, "The purpose of doing something like a Beer and Bible is to come to the end of ourselves." I love that.

God continues to be so faithful to me, and so near. Thank you for praying, all of you who continue to do so so faithfully. I really can't fit my gratitude into Blogger- for real. He keeps giving me things I have not known how to ask for, and...He's just teaching me how to be His daughter, and to interact with Him like a child. Total, wide-eyed dependence, with all its scary grey areas and easy grins. I am even dependent on Him for teaching me how to be dependent on Him. It's pretty funny, actually.

And with that, I leave you...Brothers Karamazov is calling my name.

P.S.

Here's a little piece of how I started my morning yesterday: put this song on, started some coffee, grabbed some cereal, and sat down with my Bible and journal as the rain came down.

Mmmmmmmm.........

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xRqI5R6L7ow

(Thanks for giving this to me, Josh Williams. :)

Congratulations. You have found the pebble, and missed the gravel pit.

So says...guess who? Abernathy, you old foxhound. I actually, and genuinely, really like this guy. When I'm in his class, I feel like my mind is always active and my face is always grinning- that's a recipe for success, readers. It's what brings me all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed to McDonough Hall on Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday mornings. He doesn't work too hard to hide the fact that under that bristly, sharp-tongued, often-playful exterior of his is some genuine care for us and what he does. A good teacher, that one.


A thought: have you ever been in close proximity to many people on treadmills and felt deeply in your soul that in some cases, the treadmill is working way harder than the treadmiller? A telling sign is the sounds they make...you know the one: the footsteps sound kinda like the treadmill is getting repeatedly and systematically punched in the gut, in between high-pitched groaning cries.

I think I may need to write a strongly worded letter or two.

Hey, you guys want to pray for something specific? I know I've covered this with a few of you, but it bears repeating. I don't know if you've gathered this, but law school is kind of...busy. And...it requires some work. This combination brings the danger of being stuck inside my own world all the time - it's already the human condition to be self-involved, haha, and this environment is just a simmering stew of potential blinders to the world around me. I've been asking God to help me be available: to Him, to have the internal stillness/ears to hear Him, to know His voice in my day, and to have the courage/energy to respond to what He says. Related to that: available to people! I've met some really, really rad people. I want to know them! To be warm, and open, and to figure out how to love people well here. You know? Ask God with me, will ya?


And now, a few pictures. Yesterday was Cindy's 24th! Oh, to have reached nearly a quarter-century of wisdom and experience...It was really great fun. The real celebration adventure (wow, that sounds like a bad theme park) is on Friday, and Cindy doesn't know anything about the night except that she's coming. We're gonna....
....
....
....
Nice try, Cindy. I know you read this. If you really want to know what the plans to your surprise birthday are, you shouldn't agree to me as the planner next time.

Yesterday, yesterday: we made some dinner/dessert at my place, to celebrate La Princesa Preciosa. Just a few friends doin' what friends do best...

Big occasions deserve big glasses. Of note here is the fact that that champagne was a surprise crazy "donation to the party" from the quiet old man who lives next door. I see him all the time, and we always exchange some smiling words...and he always seems surprised that I talk to him, haha. Tonight we had some good wine, but NO OPENER. This was not to be borne, readers. I went outside in my apron, prepared to go to great lengths, when I see Gene on his front porch, watering his crazy plants. "Gene...do you happen to have a wine opener?!"
"Oh, yes. Yes! I have a few. I'll bring you my best one! Do you...do you have enough to drink?"
"Well we do have a bottle of wine that we're pretty excited about..."
"Well I'm a bit of a champagne connoisseur. I'll bring you a good bottle!!"
"Oh....wow! Really?"
"Yes! I insist, I'll bring it right now."
"That's...amazing, thank you!"
He promptly came over with a quite large bottle of very delicious champagne...God bless the cellar that one came from!

Oh I come from a land, from a faraway place...

Haha...I love candid shots.

Bruce and I are cool.

Hebrew getting love...and...Hebrew as a babushka.

Tired, but happy, with bellies full of chicken parmesan, spinach salad, fresh bread, and yellow cake/chocolate icing. Good day. Good night. Good luck.

Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play?

That title is inappropriate and funny, just like the gentleman who - quite intoxicated - grabbed and caressed my earlobe the other night. It elicited the same reaction as the title question did: laughter as I backed away, shaking my head and saying, "Yeah. No."

This time in my life has forced me to ask questions with a new level of depth. Can I do this? Is God really worthy of laying everything else aside? Is He who He says He is? Is the Bible trustworthy? Is His grace really sufficient? I'm not allowed to compartmentalize many things in my life that I have traditionally kept for myself: chiefly, academics. It's not that I'm doing poorly...it's just that never before have I thought...huh. I think I can do this, but I'm not sure. Is that arrogant? Probably. It's always safe to say that I've got a healthy dose of pride mixed into my thought processes, haha. But the Father has been teaching me to respond to this.

Can I do this? Yes, but not because of you. *warm smile*
Are You sure? Oh, Kayla, daughter, the depths I've gone for you to be sure...yes. I see. I know. I'm sure.
What if I fail? Baby girl, what is failure? Remember why you came to do this...I brought you here, and I never waste. I'm good. Don't expect things of your circumstances, you're aiming way too low there. Expect, hope, dream ridiculous things of My character.
What if I'm unsure? That's OK, child. You are mine, and oh, how I approve of you! I never reject you when you choose not to trust Me...I always mold that into a learning process for you- for your joy, for the world's good, and for My glory. Always. Come to Me with your uncertainties. I enjoy hearing even those from you.

Really? I guess it's about not being afraid of weakness, or uncertainty, or anxiety...as a dear friend once relayed to me: It's not about whether or not bad thoughts come. They will, and that's okay. Don't be defeated by their appearance...this is the perfect time for Jesus' strength in my weakness to be real. It's never been about my weakness, or about my weakness in dealing with my weakness, haha. I am fully met by Him. Heart, mind, get on the bandwagon. Move toward some reality...

OK, I'm tired. As promised, here are some pics from my recent artsy adventure. Cindy, Danny and I met up with new friend (I'm totally allowed to call her that, we only hung out just this weekend) Stacey...a lovely fireball with, I suspect, somewhat of a soft center down in there. We met up at this Ethiopian restaurant on U Street...and promptly went into this side door, up the stairs, and into a small upper room - above the restaurant. There was a small stage, and the place was packed with people. As I looked around, I noticed some broad similarities...Asians! Asians and Pacific Islanders! Turns out, I stumbled upon Sulu- an artist collective for the Asian and Pacific Islander American community. There was spoken word, dance, music, and good ol' fashioned activism. Throw in some Ben's Chili Bowl after the show, and you've got yourself a mighty fine evening. I was so delighted...

And I lied. Blogger has decided that it will allow no pictures today...I will try again in future posts? That's lame, I know...but it's Friday, this has been the most labor-intensive week so far, and I just got back from a wonderful potluck at Bruce's sweet Capitol Hill East residence, in the company of some of my favorites. :) Got a hot Skype date with my beloved Sarah in the morning, but for now it's time to indulge and catch up on House!



(I love you, Hugh Laurie. Keep this a secret between us for now.)

Yep.

Because I know you want it - Dinh quote of the day, beginning our discussion of Bush v. Gore: "We can't be talking about that stuff. We have way more important things to talk about, like who should be Preside- I mean, what the Constitution says about elections."

Sometimes I read parts of health books/recommendation guides and I wonder if the people who write them are thinking to themselves, "Huh. I wonder what I can make people do." For those of you who aspire to write such guides (you mischievous manipulators, you), I have compiled a few helpful keywords/phrases, guaranteed to attract and compel some action from your readers - even when you tell them to do ridiculous things, like sleep in a certain compass alignment or elevate their feet for 15 minutes while lying in the sun.
-improve circulation
-improve (insert organ here) function
-extract nutrients
-balance digestive energy
-naturally draw out toxins
-naturally do, well, anything
-blah blah blah sunshine blah blah blah breathe deeply blah posture blah

You don't even have to give me credit for those. Really, guys, anything I can do to further the body of health literature....I am but a mere servant. But honestly- it's kind of like an earthy Simon Says+Truth or Dare, isn't it?

The next entry will be something of substance, I promise. I'm sorry that all you're getting is the mushy leftovers of my brain. To be fair, it's all anyone is getting right now. The next post will tell you stories about spoken word adventures and ways my heart is responding to Jesus. That'll be neat, won't it?

For now, here are some pictures worth at least 500 words.

Library time. I think I might have been about done with Civil Procedure at this point.

A march I saw, for civil rights...they kept yelling, "What are you afraid of???" I walked with them for awhile, and we became friends.

Sticking my feet in the water at a Friday jazz concert in front of the Archives...*sigh*

Hanging out at Busboys & Poets with Wade and Cindy, after spending our Sunday morning (and afternoon, haha) at Galbraith African Methodist Episcopal Zion Church.

P.S. A tip of the hat to online Georgetown Law Library tutorials, who make me take silly quizzes about the anatomy of statutes but then reward me with enthusiastic clapping sound effects when I get a question right.